Unlocking the After School Mystery

Getting kids to open up about their day

While you eagerly await an animated recount of your child's day, you might find yourself wondering if they truly had an uneventful day or if there's something more beneath the surface. 

5 Ways to Help Children Open Up

1. Feelings Check-In
   Take a cue from mood meters our teachers use during Morning Meetings. A daily feelings check-in aids children in developing self-awareness by identifying and expressing their emotions.

2. Use Statements, Not Questions
   Frequent questioning can inadvertently signal disapproval, leading kids to withdraw. Instead, use statements like, "I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on what the answer could be," providing room for deeper exploration.

3. Open-Ended Questions
   When you do ask questions, make them open-ended to elicit more than a one-word response. For instance, "What was the best thing you did at school today?" This focuses on their day and not on other students.

4. Share About Yourself
   Opening up about your day naturally encourages reciprocity. Children are more likely to share when they feel a connection.

5. Keep it Positive
   Avoid unintentionally infusing negativity into your prompts. Frame questions positively, allowing your child to express concerns without feeling judged.

After-School Conversation Starters

Pro Tips

• If your child shares a struggle, avoid leading questions the next day. Focus on positive aspects. 

• Sensitive conversations might flow easier during a car ride or other times when direct eye contact isn't necessary.

• Create a routine during dinner time where each family member shares something from their day.

While these won't lead to an extensive conversation every time, the goal is to engage in numerous brief conversations over time. Look for opportune moments to chat, like during dinner or while driving when there's no rush.